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PARENT TO PARENT (P2P)
Support Programs of Washington State
We provide emotional support and information to families
of children with special needs and/or disabilities.

NEW! Kitsap/Jefferson/Clallam Parent to Parent & Arc of Kitsap/Jefferson's "Celebrating Mom's" Event on May 4, 2010 was a hit! Click here for more information.

NEW! Walla Walla Parent to Parent hosts events for families of young adults and seniors - and they love it! Click here to read the article from the March 13, 2010 Walla Walla Union-Bulletin.

Yakima County has been recognized by Champions for Inclusive Communities as a Star Community! From the article:

Located in central Washington, Yakima County's children are more likely than the average child to live in poverty, have a mother without a high school diploma, and speak a language other than English. Supported by Children's Village and its partnerships, children with special health care needs in Yakima have been thriving for over a decade. Diane Patterson, director of the Children's Village says, "The key is creating a vision that inspires your community to commit their time, resources, and energy."

What families are saying about Parent to Parent (click on the quote to jump to their story below):

and read their stories:

"Parent to Parent gives us hope for brighter days."

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a parent of a son with severe cognitive, physical, medical and developmental disabilities. I also have a daughter who is six years old and typical.

I beg you to not cut funding to The Parent to Parent Program. Our family does not receive any state services and the Parent to Parent Program is the only support that we get. The connections, resources and information we have gained have been priceless to us.

The road we are on is challenging, financially draining and hard on our marriage. Parent to Parent gives us hope for brighter days.

Thank you,

Jessie Atkins

Snohomish County, WA

"It has meant the world to me to be able to get support from the Parent to Parent groups through the Arc. I have never felt alone again thanks to them."

Hello and thank you for listening to my story:

My son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder with Global Developmental Delays in November of 2007, at almost 4 years old. Even though Autism is one of the largest developmental disabilities to date, I felt all alone. I struggled with his diagnosis and the constant feelings of failure. I didn't know how to handle him or how to deal with Autism. I had no idea what was to come of anything. I was angry that my son was not "normal", I felt guilty that I was angry. I felt guilty, sure that I had done something wrong to cause his problems. I FELT LOST! I found the Arc of Snohomish County and it took me a few months to get the courage to go to my first Mother's Network meeting, for fear of more failure. Here I was sure were women who "got it" and understood and knew what they were doing, while I knew nothing.

I remember the first few meetings, I would sit and listen and try not to cry (I cried a lot). I was sure they would tell me everything I was doing wrong, or I wasn't doing enough. THAT NEVER HAPPENED!! I found a group of women who CARE!! I found a group of women who did understand and told me often that I was a great mom and my son was beautiful!! I found a place that I could be brutally honest about anything, and I am never judged. I am supported, I am loved! I know that I can call these women in the middle of the night and cry if I need to. I know that I can be angry about Autism and how hard it is for my son to go through, what most take for granted, a trip to the grocery store. They are there to cheer when he learns a new task...at 5 he became potty trained!! This past month, we were able to go out to lunch with friends, and he was able to sit at the table for an hour and not have a meltdown for the first time EVER!! Things most people take for granted are celebrated with these women, and I could never repay what I have gained from them!!

It has meant the world to me to be able to get support from the Parent to Parent groups through the Arc. I have never felt alone again thanks to them.

Thank you,

Serena Roycroft

"If we lose...Parent to Parent, where do we go to get the support and directions to make life a little easier for the children and us as parents with our disabled children?"

I'm not able to go but would like to say that thanks too Parent to Parent Miles received a tricycle donated to him by Windemer Properties.

Kathy Evans excepted it and handed over the trike to Miles that has helped him get the exercise that he needs for his legs. Miles really enjoys his trike and I believe it has allowed him to feel more a part of

the family when he can enjoy something of his own and we get to see the smile and hear his laughter as we take him for his walks everyday (weather permitting). Miles has since lost the ability to walk because the surgery that was to help him walk did not go well and this trike has given him the ability to get out and use the legs that no longer let him walk or stand on his own.

The other thing is the camp for the kids and families where we can go and know that someone is not looking at him or any of the other kids as being different. Being able to share our thoughts, feelings and

frustrations as a family rather than just one parent is an important thing not only for the kids with disabilities but their families as a whole. Have fun at the same time as a group.

Moms group, dance and the once a month get together that was nice to be a part of that and be able to take a big breathe and feel like a part of something instead of a misfit because of our child with disabilities.

Parent to Parent is needed for us that feel loss, stressed and information that is needed to figure out what next step we as parents need to make to insure our children's life. Without them we would be

floundering because there isn't a program here in Thurston County that I found that has the compassion and the want to help families in need. If we lose them Parent to Parent where do we go to get the support and directions to make life a little easier for the children and us as parents with our disabled children?

Thank You Parent to Parent for the support and information that I have asked for and help with getting medical needed equipment for my son. You have a blessing for us.

Sincerely,

Molly O'Brien

"...parent to parent groups are so vital in bringing families out of isolation and into the community!"

To Whom It May Concern:

Parent to Parent programs MUST stay available to us! I am the mother of 4 Sons. My son Joshua who is 6 years old has Autism. I have just found a Mom's group where I can get the wisdom, knowledge, and the support that I so desperately have been trying to find! For a couple of years now, I have been so frustrated trying to figure out everything on my own on how to help my son function in this world; parent to parent groups are so vital in bringing families out of isolation and into the community! I'm afraid that if they cut these groups along with school aid and programs our kids won't have a fighting chance! Please help us to help our children... the future.... the next generation.

Thank You,

Christine Hogue

"Having Parent to Parent’s support has helped us to realize that, yes, Ole is unique but also that other parents have gone through some of the same difficulties as we have."

March 31, 2009

Dear Legislators,

We are unable to attend Family Advocacy Day but would like to let you know how the Parent to Parent Program is important to us. First a little background information about our family.

We are a family of three – Arv, Charla and a 17 year old son, Ole. Our son has multiple developmental and mental disabilities – high functioning autism, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, sensory processing problems, Bipolar and is also legally blind in one eye. Raising him has been challenging but also enlightening because of the way he processes information. Luckily I was able to be a stay at home mom and Arv is now retired.

Parent to Parent has been a life saver the last several years. The Mother’s Network meetings have helped me connect with other Mom’s going through the same difficulties I have and also to know that I am not alone. The same goes for the Father’s Network for Arv. Speakers at other meetings have helped us stay informed and learn new ways of working with Ole. Lego Club sponsored by the Snohomish Parent to Parent has been great for Ole. It helps him connect with other kids and for us to connect with other parents. There are so many ways that Parent to Parent helps us stay connected and feel we belong somewhere.

It is hard for people to realize how isolated parents and families feel when they have a child with disabilities. It is extremely hard when you are talking with other parents that have not gone through what we are going through and they tell you your child is “spoiled” or being a brat – they have not had to deal with issues we deal with. Even the doctor’s have no answers on how to deal with him. In fact the doctor’s were going to institutionalize him because they didn’t know how to deal with him. Fortunately we did not give up and now have his anger somewhat controlled by putting him on a Gluten Free/Casein Free diet.

Having Parent to Parent’s support has helped us to realize that, yes, Ole is unique but also that other parents have gone through some of the same difficulties as we have.

We understand the difficulties you are having with balancing the budget but Parent to Parent Programs are extremely important to families with children that have disabilities. Please continue to fund the Parent to Parent Programs.

Thank you,

Charla and Arv Aurdal, Snohomish, WA

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"Instead of two isolated adults with a special needs child, we are now in a huge family with other people who seem to have experienced everything we are going through."

To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Charlotte Quevedo, and I am the mother of a 2 1/2 year old, Paulino Israel Quevedo, who was diagnosed with autism on January 27, 2009. Neither my family nor my husband's knew anything about autism spectrum disorders and so it has been up to me to get all the information I could find to help my son. My son's grandparents live far apart, and so we have been living on our own in Sultan, Washington, without sufficient socialization and feeling of belonging to the community. When my son got the diagnosis, I suffered extreme depression because I was isolated, feeling intellectually incapable of understanding my new responsibilities, and lacking close friends and family support.

Shortly after my son's diagnosis, I went through the paperwork his doctor gave me, and found some important information that helped change my life. I made a phone call to the Arc of Snohomish County, met Jessica Atkins, and then was connected to another wonderful woman, Cynthia Weissinger. From there I was invited to birthday parties and have been notified of all the support group functions and events. This has been extremely priceless for me, as my family has been struggling financially, and we can't afford counseling services for ourselves to cope with the depression (so therefore, friendship has been a powerful source of healing). While we have lost assets in the past few months, we have gained something so much more in terms of quality of life. We feel like we have friends we can turn to, and that is priceless. I have people I can talk to when I feel upset, people who won't tell me that my problems aren't real. Having other parents to socialize with and help us find out what all of our financial options are has strengthened our marriage as well. Instead of two isolated adults with a special needs child, we are now in a huge family with other people who seem to have experienced everything we are going through.

Nevertheless, I still have many worries in regards to how I can help my son. I am not capable of working full time, and so my husband is struggling to help us pay for my son's diet and health care costs. Having people around to support us has led us to find opportunities to broaden our options for treatment. Needless to say, families with special needs children need a network for socialization and information on treatment and financial assistance. Without that network, it will be especially difficult for families who live in smaller cities, like Sultan. Our children deserve just as much opportunity to exceed and live a happy life as children who are born to more fortunate situations.

Thank You,

Charlotte Quevedo, Sultan, WA

"P2P provides a place where other moms understand."

"P2P has been a huge help for my family. We have 3 children with developmental delays. Some days I am overwhelmed by the number of things I have to accomplish to help them develop. P2P provides a place where other moms understand. We laugh about things that other moms would be shocked at. We laugh because if we don't we'll cry. That support and understanding is such a relief.

Even more important is the support provide through the Sibshop events for my typically developing child. She watches her siblings go to multiple appointments. They are "special" and get lot of Mom's attention. She's old enough to understand why they get so much attention, but it's only natural to have some resentment. Sometimes her siblings odd behavior becomes almost overwhelmingly frustrating for her. Sometimes, it's just plain embarrassing. Sibshop provides a safe place for her to talk about her feelings about her siblings. It also gives her a "special" event to attend and reminds her that she is special too."

Dawnette M. Chadwick, Coordinator
Medical Reserve Corps
Whatcom County, WA

"This program offers many events and activities appropriate for kids with disabilities and their families, this is a safe environment where my son is learning how to socialize, which is a major challenge for autistic children like him. I haven't found this anywhere else in the community."

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is in support of the Parent to Parent Program. Here is a little bit of background on my family.

I am a young mother of 2 boys, 2 year old Noah and 6 week old baby Elliot. Earlier this year Noah was diagnosed with autism. Devastating and extremely hard to deal with while adding a new baby to our family. I was at risk to get Post Partum depression but the support I found from mothers I connected

with through the Parent to Parent program has helped me tremendously.

This program offers many events and activities appropriate for kids with disabilities and their families, this is a safe environment where my son is learning how to socialize, which is a major challenge for autistic children like him. I haven't found this anywhere else in the community.

Please consider the Parent to Parent program for funding. There are too many families across the state benefiting from it and we are one of them.

Thank You

Sincerely,

Fabiola Tercero, a parent in Lynwood, WA

February 2009

When Tracie Hoppis approached me this year and asked me to write an article about my daughter Emma and what Valley Parents and Children’s Village has meant to us, I was delighted!

Hi! My name is Sue and I am a single mom to Emma and Lane. Emma is 8 years old and was diagnosed in 2006 with Autism. We have always known that Emma was developmentally delayed but having a firm diagnosis has really helped us access services. When Emma was 4, I joined Valley Parents. Valley Parents is a group of moms and dads who have kids with special needs- they get together to talk, laugh, learn and sometimes cry. When I first attended, I wasn’t sure what to expect and even asked my mother to attend with me. I soon found out that I wasn’t alone and that there were other families who shared my same journey through life. We all think that we have it the roughest until we hear someone’s story of day to day challenges, then stand back and say to yourself…. “maybe I don’t have it so bad”. Don’t get me wrong, we have good days and bad days, but we learn something from EVERY ONE of them! Valley Parents has been a blessing to us. I encourage EACH of you who have not tried one of the Parent to Parent groups to just come and see what they’re like. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to BUT you can listen and be amazed at how many of the same challenges other families have that are just like yours. I guarantee you will enjoy it and come away with NEW information from parents who have “been there”. We all have challenges with the systems: SSI, Medical Coupons, General Insurance, and School. I am speaking from experience when I say that there are people in EACH of these groups that have some great insight to share on these topics and others. I’ve learned at Valley Parents that no matter how big or small your challenge is with your child, rest assured from someone who has been there, you have a place where you can feel at home and understood.

In addition to Valley Parents, we’ve been involved in another program through Parent to Parent called one 2 one. It warms my heart to attend one 2 one’s Slug Bug group every Saturday. We just finished playing three months of basketball and Emma has come along way. The first time we went to Slug Bugs when Emma was 6 years old she didn’t want to participate. But you know what, that was okay. If she wanted to run laps during basketball or run the field during baseball and participate here and there, it was all acceptable. We feel welcomed with open arms in all of these activities. Today, Emma has become more participative in all of the activities. It gives her (and mom) a chance to exercise and spend some very important one on one time together. Parent to Parent’s one 2 one program also has a great group of teenage mentors who get out there and work with the children.

I cannot say enough about the Parent to Parent organization. When my son was unexpectedly born with multiple congenital anomalies and later diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy I was stuck in an emotional black hole. I had not even begun to comprehend the magnitude of what lay ahead when a home health nurse asked if I had been "hooked up" with Parent to Parent yet. I questioned her because I had never heard of the organization before and had no idea what it could offer me.

I was in for a wonderful surprise when I made the call. Since my son was under 3 years of age my family was assigned a Family Resource Coordinator. This is what I later learned to be an extremely valuable position. A person only knows what they have experienced or read about and cannot truly understand what lay ahead if no one is there to guide them along. I had no idea that a Birth to Three program existed for developmentally challenged children. My FRC informed me that it would be an early start to school for my son since he would need extra time and services to level the playing field for him.

Not only did P2P get us involved in the school system, they provided a multitude of community resources for things ranging from individual funding, healthcare services, educational materials/classes, and so much more. Still this does not describe the full spectrum of Parent to Parent's services. Several community events that are more accessible and more accepting of disabled individuals are put on by P2P each year. These events help children realize that there are others like them and that they can grow up to be functioning adults.

The toy and equipment loan program is another valuable asset that P2P has. Families that have items which are no longer being used donate their things to P2P. This is a spectacular place to go to find enticing toys for the sensory challenged child as well as positional equipment that is very expensive and all too often not covered by health insurance.

As my son has grown and is now out of the Birth to Three program our needs have changed. Parent to Parent has been there to meet these new needs and is still a very important part of our lives. Presently I attend a monthly Mom to Mom meeting, through P2P, where moms of disabled children meet and discuss our trials and triumphs. This group means a lot to me; the women are all so understanding and they listen without judgment. I hope that you take my words to heart today and see the need to keep funding a fabulous program.

I am a single parent of two daughters, one of them is a child with special needs. I have found the ARC of Snohomish Co. to be a tremendous resource for me to help my daughter. The programs that they put on, the parents who offer insight and advice and the resources of that office will be decimated if they aren't able to keep the funding that helps to keep this program all together.

My experience was that I needed some specific advice on how to transition my daughter from high school into adulthood. This is complicated enough with trying to understand the paperwork involved with a guardianship and starting the paperwork with some of the agencies who will help her as an adult. The Parent to Parent program was very instrumental in helping me to learn how to start this process, what to do first, what things were of a lesser priority, etc. I will continue to use this program because it is a terrific resource for me and my family.

Please keep the funding intact. I now these are difficult times, but the services that this program offers are too important to lose.

Our Teen Program through the Parent to Parent Program of Yakima County, Washington meets monthly. It is for teens with and without disabilities. This Saturday we are having a Spring Prom. Complete with professional photographs, limo rides, great food, DJ- most everything donated. Other activities of our Teen Program are dance classes through Yakima School of Ballet; gymanastics classes through Gymnastics Plus and our year round recreation program called Slugbugs- basketball, softball and soccer .The typical teenagers mentor and support the teens with special needs.

Tracie Hoppis, Parent to Parent

Children's Village

3801 Kern Rd., Yakima, WA 98902

(509)574-3263

tracie.hoppis@yvmh.org

"I believe that with faith, family, friends, and Parent to Parent in our lives, I have become a stronger parent."

I remember when my son was first diagnosed with Chromosome Ring 18 at two months of age. I (and my husband) was terrified! The only words that kept running through my mind were that of all the degrees of the unknown: mental retardation, heart anomalies, kidney failure, blindness, deafness, low muscle tone, microcephaly, and the worst: failure to thrive. I felt as though I was alone on a deserted island. Not one friend or relative could even come close to imaging the fear of the unknown that I felt. No words could comfort me. I was so terrified that my little beautiful baby would never know love.

I remember picking up a P2P pamphlet one early evening that my FRC had given me. It seemed like the only promising thing I had read in the weeks of reading Doctor's notes and talking to people who really didn't know of my son's rare anomaly. I had cried so hard for two weeks straight that I felt like a zombie when Michelle answered the phone. And then again, I felt those tears rushing back. I explained to her my situation, and she replied back to all my comments and her story with three undercurrents in her voice: strength, humility and courage. I knew then that there was SOMEONE out there who could relate, and suddenly I realized that I was now in a whole new "club" of life, and that I could actually become like her with that same strength. I could get through this, and raise my son just fine!

To fast forward...my son is almost three now and is a tremendous gift to our family! He has enriched our souls more than I could ever explain. I have still had my fears, and I am grateful that there are other families out there going through raising children with varying degrees of special needs. I have learned something from them all. I probably would not have met most of these people if it were not for our local Parent 2 Parent meetings. I communicate with some of these families outside our varying activities, and am meeting new ones all the time. Without these people, I may have fallen into a pit of

helplessness. Now, whenever I feel a "wave" of worry about what my son will face to come, and things seem a little overwhelming, I reach for the phone and talk to one of them, and it always helps to bring me back to a "can do" attitude. Kipp (my son) has overcome so many obstacles that were the "unknowns." Like any child, but maybe a little more so, we will always have to assist him with his own individual needs that will help him flourish and grow. I believe that with faith, family, friends, and Parent to Parent in our lives, I have become a stronger parent. They have helped get me through all the rough patches of raising a child with special needs. I can now focus on watching my beautiful boy reveal the miracles of daily life he was always intended to show, to those with the courage to truly see.

Thank you,
Amy Kocher - Kittitas County Parent to Parent